Homeless

Inside a coffeeshop in Batam waiting for our food to be served, we were approached several times by children selling tissue packs and other wares. There were several moments my heart had softened and about to reach out to buy just so it wasn't awkward for the other guests at the table however I recalled a lesson I was taught - feed one well and he will continue seeking to be fed. I kept my money where it should be and refrained from any eye contacts with the children for fear of stumbling. 

After the relatively sumptuous meal of fish soup and bak kut teh, I stepped out to see another sight. A man in his mid-20s with a sack over his shoulder with what seems to be filled with used containers of odd shapes. Hunched over due to the weight of the sack, he limped with every step bare footed. 

Several thoughts struck as I had wondered what caused his limp, his circumstances and his character. 

Could it be due to an accident which caused the limp or was it some other family circumstances that put him in such plight. I guess I'll never know but I had put myself in his shoes and wondered how I'll pick up my life from there if it were me. 

So is it true resilience is more important in life than anything else or is sheer determination more important? I guess where one is born plays an important part as well or where one is brought up in. 

When I'm alone ....

When I'm alone ....
I owe the world nothing
I breathe my own space
At my own fucking pace

When I'm alone ....
I think of what life is
Caring for no one
Enjoying what I'll call fun

When I'm alone ....
I dream of what I can accomplish
What brought destructions
Amongst all random distractions

Turning 41 ...

Interestingly changes are inevitable they say. Hair greying and bones aching. Had recently hurt the shoulder without knowing the cause of it. Perhaps signs of old age as I begin the climb in age.

This year things are a little different. Not much of a family affair in terms of meals etc. Who can I blame?

Mischief. Insanity.

I can't recall when was the last time I worked so hard on what I used to call a sacred day - birthday.

Meetings, project hand-overs and a path of uncertainties or even road blocks to progress. Or maybe not.

Opportunities lie ahead if I tread carefully. Avoiding land mines and self inflicted wounds, I may rise if I could flow with the wind catching it at an opportune time like a kite lifted up soaring in the clouds.

Let's look back when I turn 42 and if things turn out just right.

All the best to me and adios to ten years ago.

If I Could Be Where I Want To Be ...

I'll wish to be amidst serenity

A Non chatter world

Without endless spoken words


A world where only nature speaks

Songs of birds and whistling trees

Gentle breeze and rustling leaves


A world where gentleness simmers the heart

Driving out darkness from deep within

Grasping only of love without fear


A world where the touch of the skin

Creates love without guilt

Absence of tears and broken hopes


Perhaps such existence lies faraway

In the world where perhaps angels sing

But will I ever find this place of solitude even when my body rests in peace

Lines and wrinkles ...

A friend explained to me about carbon laser peel and how she's tempted to sign up a package to get herself wrinkle free.

She seemed serious about it and I laughed off hearing the price tag it'll come with just by having the face plastered in carbon before peeling it off like art work. Indeed art costs more these days.

The conversation started when she mentioned she should try to stop laughing cause it lands lines on her face. I remember her saying she should even stop smiling so as to hide those lines.

What has this world come to?

I summarise below -

A life of laughter brings wrinkles to a face
Similarly a life of worries ........

posted from Bloggeroid

Baggage

Every once in awhile we hear rantings from friends and relatives. It's all about life's misfortunes and how the cast of life has been assigned with a spin of injustice.

Tonight I heard a story of how siblings squabble over a father's illness and how life gets rough and tough.

It has always been a fear of mine that such will hit my home in a matter of years.

I'm close to my brothers but unsure if I'm really close to my family to be able to ride through strong and rough waves over stumbling obstacles and challenges.

Every family has their own baggage and many left unsaid and unclaimed that we never know what really lies inside them.

The next time we think others lead a happy life ... Perhaps not.

posted from Bloggeroid

Wretched ....

I've lost it all

Whether big or small

All these times I've thought

That I'll win them all

It's time I take the fall

Never has it been my call

Every night I'll stay awake

Knowing it's my life at stake

There were tears and fears

A state of mind unclear

The pain slowly crept

The grieving body wept

Now I'm making my climb

These steps taking me closer to the end of my time

As life's moments flash me by

A prayer I'll say to bid the world goodbye

Standing over the ledge

To the world below I pledge

If I'll ever survive this plunge

God's gracing me with a life's refund