Mistakes ...

For me it just seems very difficult to forgive myself whenever I do something which would result in me being hurt some way or another.

Not sure about you but I just get this irritable voice that keeps reminding me how stupid I was although I know this voice eventually subsides, fades away and dies only to resurrect when I make the same mistake again.

Learning from mistakes haven't really been a forte and perhaps I am a slow  learner who is stubborn. That on its own kills it all.

Let's put it this way, I have a learning disability. I need to be reminded of my mistakes occasionally because after so many attempts it still fails to register that a stove is hot when on top of fire and so is boiling soup.

I've scalded my tongue once again.

A lost worm...

For the past three years, Luca always had a companion to sleep with and he calls it Worm. Just like Linus who needed his blanket, Worm was Luca's close friend and a necessity when it comes to sleep time.

During bed time, he is often found patting Worm on its ends to sleep with his fingers. Luca would form a ball at one end of his Worm, squeezed and tapped it with rhythm as he too slowly dozed off into dream land.

On some other mornings when both his parents are still in bed and refusing to give in to his pleas of freedom to play on his own unsupervised in the living room, Worm kept him busy.The occasional role play with his friend - chit chatting.

At times he ends up in serious discussions about fighting an imaginary fire or preventing an intruder who is about to enter his room. Always would he rope in Worm to help him out.

He gave Worm numerous roles - firefighter, policeman but hardly the bad guy.

He developed a strong liking for his friendly Worm but not until yesterday.

I was told he threw Worm into the bin.

I was really shocked hearing that we lost Worm last night and that Luca chose to forsake him.

Scary stuff.

I felt kind of sad because I've always wanted to keep his bolster just like how we kept his first pair of shoes etc.

Too late. I couldn't help Worm.

It appeared to me that Luca was coerced into acting drastically. His Gong Gong (maternal grandpa) had earlier offered him some treats in exchange for Worm.

He couldn't resist the temptation of ice cream (he hasn't tasted ice cream for the longest time since his last bout of flu couple of months back).

What's worst is that I started wondering if he can be more cold blooded than that and would one day desert me for his wife.

Let's hope it's just the age of innocence and not a character developed for the future.

Perhaps I think too much...

2013.

I'm typing this from Mumbai. 

It's been a very long time since I've last made an entry here ... What used to be a habitual expression of thoughts and sharing has now taken a dive into a world of laziness.

Lazy in making short sentences long. Lazy in having to restructure words and juggling with wrong grammar usage.

Basically just plain lazy.

So it is the new year and many have asked how I've fared in 2013. Well,  I guess I did alright. Nothing much to complain about nor any big achievements made which need announcing. 

But yes,  thinking back I've indeed made a big decision in 2013 which made Sandy so happy. Not telling you so don't bother even asking. A secret we both share.

As for Luca,  he surely conquered a few firsts.  Beginning of 2013, we enrolled him in school and of course with a few weeks of tantrum and cries of pleas he did adjust to school life.

He is growing up really well. Health wise he had a bad bout of flu which occurred right after his birthday celebration at Sentosa. 

We can only assure ourselves that all kids fall ill time after time and nothing to be surprised over nor be alarmed.

In the middle of the year,  he had to change his milk from cow to goat. It's a blessing he was happy to drink goat's milk even when I presumably felt it was kind of difficult to put in my mouth and swallow it. That taste too overwhelming for me. 

I can't remember exactly when this happened but Sandy and I had one of the worst arguments ever in our lives. It was terrible. And it wasn't even money related nor me having an affair. It was just a trivial matter that got blown out of proportion because neither of us wanted to give in.

That scene will always remain in the back of my mind to serve as a reminder never to stay firm on certain principles especially towards my loved ones. Peace and harmony is all that matters. And of course - LOVE.

Now that I mentioned the four letter word, I can possibly confirm that LOVE is Luca's first word he learnt to spell. Hopefully he will learn to know the true meaning of that simple word. Being both a receiver and a giver of love.

In December, Luca performed on stage for the first time. Two songs on the violin - Twinkle Little Star and Lightly Row ( I think ).

I would say I had more butterflies in my stomach than he had and I almost lost sleep the night before worried that he will not cope on stage on performance day.

I'm glad he did well and enjoyed the applause from the audience. Different from the times he cried at rehearsal. Phew!

2013 was a good year. From Thomas the Train to Lego toys he is able to build on his own. He is learning. And growing well. Surely equipped with an inquisitive mind and perhaps a boy who wants to free himself from my shouts which I'm learning to manage.

2014 will be a better year for us all. And I'm sure the arguments between the wife and I will be much lesser but with the growing rascal it'll be too many. 

Am hoping I'll win most of the time .... :)

All the best for 2014. Best of heath and lots of happiness.