Luis walks .... quite fast.

Take a look at the little chap making his steps quicker than he is able to.

Which is better? To love or be loved? ( Part 2 )

Well, I hardly get so many responses or comments from my blog postings and I am glad many friends took time to read and drop comments about these thoughts I had.

Thank you for dropping in. At least I know the blog is still being read and it is a consolation that people still want to know what is happening in my minute brain. : )

Like many others, I day dream a lot and by writing these thoughts I come up with is just a way of expressing how I feel about certain perspectives in life. Some important and some aren’t.

Some ought to be shared but some should remain unwritten. I made a mistake about writing this topic because Sandy got very angry over this blog.

Caught you! : )

I was kidding about my wife being angry. The only angry people I know of might have ended up hating me for putting up such a blog.

Let’s get back to the topic.

I asked myself if I knew what love really is. Frankly, no.

I had to ponder a little while before I could come up with what love consists of.

Let’s picture love as a pie chart or even better, a pizza.

A full pizza made up of different ingredients to enhance the taste and flavour. Yes, if only I could have some fresh from my neighbourhood delivery. OK, am feeling hungry and craving for Rocky’s Pizza now.

So what makes up a ‘love pizza’? It won’t taste nice only with a thin crust even though that’s my favourite.

A little bit of respect, trust, compromise, care, faith, happiness, laughter, loyalty, devotion and compassion. You can also add a little bit of intimacy, energy, patience, affection etc. So many things make up love and trust me, the list can go on but have we ever thought about the ugly side of things that keep love going? There are more than the above positive descriptions.

But remember your journey in love? There is bound to have encountered elements of selfishness, tears, squabbles, betrayals, lies, irresponsibility, uncertainty, insecurity etc. Again, the list goes on.

I never really heard of a fairy tale love with no misunderstandings, quarrels etc. If this is how your love started and still going strong without a single quarrel or difference in opinions, then you might want to stop and think if it really is true. The person who is holding your hands so tight might just be hiding behind a mask.

Let’s face it. We were not made perfect. We can’t be perfect even in love. There will be some sort of flaw somewhere waiting to be discovered by our partners but what is most important is the virtue of forgiveness. That plays a very important aspect of love so that the pizza will not taste at all bitter.

I agree with many friends that love is not forever. Some day it’ll fade but when it is time to fade, we are likely old and at such an old age, it is only companionship we seek after. We won't go find another lover. Or chances are we won't want to go through the dating again. We only want someone to walk the last steps of our journey on this planet. I don’t think this will be called love but then again, we often see aging grandparents who still hold hands walking in the park, cuddling on the bench and wiping perspiration from the face of their wrinkled spouse. Can we call that love or just a habit of having the company of one another?

Weird thought isn’t it?

Again, I insist Sandy loves me more than I love her. Reason why I say this is because she gives in to me most of the time and she hardly gets her way because her way is usually not my way. See, this is true love because she has discovered that flaw in me but has yet to exploit it and that’s why I love her for who she is and she loves me as who I am. That’s true love which Korean dramas don’t really portray. Remember Full House? : )

Which is better? To love or be loved?

 

Just yesterday, I met up with an old friend of mine and at the age of 30, he told me he is caught in a love triangle.

 

OK. The age is insignificant. We can always fall in love again at the age of 80. Right?

 

So he told me his story and in the midst of our conversation, I asked.

 

'Would you prefer to love or be loved?'

 

He wasn't sure. In fact, I too am not sure but I am convinced that being loved is far better than loving someone.

 

To love somebody takes a lot of energy, strength and emotional setbacks whereas to be loved would mean more like sitting in the passenger's seat and let things go almost auto pilot. Agree?

 

At least the chances of being hurt and leaving the relationship with a broken heart would be minimized. No teary eyes and sleepless nights.

 

But on the other hand, you love her so much that when the day that relationship falters, your eye balls will start to pop out due to over exhaustion of the tear glands. ( are there tear glands? )

 

So where do you stand in a relationship?

 

For me, I think I am the receiving one in my marriage.

 

Shhh …. Please don't tell Sandy about this. I aren't afraid she'll hit me but I am just afraid she'll love me lesser and I'll end up having to love her more thus changing the tides of love.

 

Ok, now it makes no sense because we do not know how to measure love. What units do we use? Amperes?

Every first step is difficult ...

Let's be honest. When we made our first steps as babies, it was sheer difficult but perhaps we couldn't remember much about it thus people sometimes say the first step is the easiest.

Every life and every form has a beginning. Everything we see has a story but not every story was told to us. The same goes for my story.

In this couple of months, a new beginning is taking shape for me. It is a rough ride right now and I just have to get through this tumultuous times until yet another new beginning comes about - another change would mean yet another new beginning isn't it?

My first anniversary and it remains fresh in my memory ...

Last year today, Sandy and I both said ' I do '. I do to a whole new world, I do to a whole new life and as one. As husband and wife that shares the same surname - Chong. A unity of love and a promise to care for one another, through thick and thin, through riches and rags, through good and bad health.

 

Everything that happened during this period last year is still fondly cherished and remembered.

 

From the gestures of family and friends that took time to witness the biggest event of our lives as well as the moments they spent with us partying, merrying.

 

Of course, I have to thank those close friends who made our wedding a total success especially on that rainy day in Sentosa. I can remember how the skies opened and partied by showering us with lots of love in rain.

 

The bachelor parties, the drinking sessions and the drunkards we created all in the name of fun and great company.

 

Yes, I remembered also how I cried on stage and how I managed to serenade the crowd with my own composition of romantic tune. Somewhat, Sandy didn't get my lyrics right even till today but it's all great because I fulfilled my wishes in having my own 'mini - concert'.

 

The days that followed after the wedding was a fantastic time spent with a close buddy. I do not know if Sandy and I will ever find such fun and company ever again in a vacation - a double date away from the little dot we live in.

 

From what I can remember, everything went smooth and almost as planned.

 

I hope in the many years to come, I can still do a playback in my mind of what happened during the summer of 2008 as I know, these cherished moments can only happen once in a lifetime.

 

Happy 1st year anniversary. As of now, we still do not know what we'll be having for our anniversary dinner. We'll likely visit Amara Sanctuary again and try to walk those path that we step foot a year ago. Hand in hand, heart to heart.