A baby's birth ...

This morning as I read the papers, I saw a photo of a woman lying at the foot of a housing block, with paramedics and by-standers, all providing assistance to a pregnant woman waiting to give birth. Waiting is the wrong word, its more like rushing to give birth as she could wait no longer. A baby was born, all in the sight of onlookers from the apartment windows of the housing blocks around. A celebration of life.

This article prompted me to think a little about one's life. How long can one sit and wait for things to happen? For this instance, an impatient baby wanting so much to come out of the womb to enjoy the gift of life. The baby boy had to fight with his mother for what he wanted, he fought so hard to win what he had longed for - birth.

His mother on the other hand had surely wanted to deliver the baby only in the comforting hands of doctors and nurses in a hospital and not anywhere else. I could just imagine the struggle the mother had with the baby. Both hearts were likely corresponding and pleading with each other. One needed more time so that she can be prepared while the other persisted in having his ways of coming into life.

Sometimes don't you think we lack the courage the baby had shown us? The baby did not sit in the womb and wait for the moment of birth but rather the baby fought his way out despite endless resistance from the mother,believing its not the right time just yet. I am sure the mother placed every effort to withstand the pressure from the baby but failed. The baby used all his might, strength and determination to get what he wanted - out.

In everyone of us, there is this hidden might, strength and determination. These elements are inborn. We carry them wherever we go, whatever we do or plan to do. Its only a question of how we unleash that desire within us. How we always try to subdue the inner strength - choosing to believe in only our limits of what we can do and not choosing to believe that there is so much more we can do- our might, strength and determination level is limitless.

Perhaps the next time you want to achieve something, think first of this baby and get inspired by his actions of might, strength and determination. We too can do it if we attempted to, if only we really want to but somehow theories are rather simply said (or written) . To do it takes a lot more but you and I should try anyhow.

Find it ...

In the moment of truth, dreams dashed and goals unfulfilled

Where do I stand and where do I go from here?

Can I pack my dreams and leave from where I stopped?

Can I just stand aside and allow time to just pass freely?

To walk away in despair, I show cowardice.

To merely take the blow and not take the fall, I show perseverance.

To lick the wounds and let it heal over time, I show patience.

To build my dreams all over again, I show strength.

This is what I'll choose to do ... to start all over again

Success ...

What's success if a journey wasn't rough but easily attained?

What's success if a drop of sweat was not required in the attempts to reach your goal?

Why then would one taste failure should all ways and means be used to achieve success?

Why then should one cry out loud if he has already done his best but still failed to achieve success?

I have not done any of the above and thus not worthy of success just yet.

Been away ...

Forgive me if you have been visiting my blog and disappointed that it has not been updated. Its not that I have given up on blogging but I have been away for a couple of days. Away from the computer that is and a little lazy to blog from the phone. As you know, the phone's keyboard is rather small and my thumbs are a little bigger than the keys on my Dopod.

Actually, I really went away, away to some unknown land where the mind wanders freely without much stress and provocative thoughts. A place where the mind and heart could unite and share refuge of peace and quietness. So where is this place I claim which sounds heavenly? Its in books.

I am currently reading two books, both from the same author Paulo Coelho - Manual of The Warrior of Light and The Alchemist. Both books write about the pursuit of dreams and how this boy removes all obstacles in his way while standing firm in attaining his dreams. Its a rather light hearted read and can be motivational at times. It reminds me of a book that a friend, Kassidy,from Canada sent me many years back - The Little Prince , written by Antoine de Saint Exupery.

A little of a fairy tale or a fable with a touch of a lesson learnt every chapter read. Realistic how the plot moves, I have learnt some of life's lessons humbly by reading the book. Lessons that you and I can learn by spending a little more time observing the people around us, looking at their actions and expressions.

Enough said about this two books, should you be interested to know more, you might want to visit the nearest bookstore or let me know and I will be more than happy to lend you for a week or so. Till you hear from me again next time ... am sure something good is going to happen tomorrow. Let me tell you more in my next blog .. so long and good night.

Insanity...

The air didn't seem to flow
Just like the mind didn't get to rest

The breathing seemed harder
So was trying to fall asleep

This agony hiding inside him
Shivers with every toss and turn he makes

A voice that wants to shout out loud
Knows it would fall short of being heard

To silently fade into the state of rest
He quickly popped few pills and hoped that was the best

Each passing minute and hour
Proved to be a night of horror

The tormentor whips his acts like Satan
As the tortured wished he's died and gone to heaven

The time reads as 4am and counting
Its the second night of bleeding .........

Principles ... Values ... & Life ...

What are principles?
What are values?
What is the purpose of believing in them and stubbornly clinging on to them, making them a part of who you are when it causes destruction?
Why do we need such lines of separation?
Is there a need for them?
Will believing in such beliefs bring about happiness and harmony?
Should we not be like a blade of grass, bending when necessary or should we stand firm like the bamboo tree-sway it will not despite a strong gust of wind that comes charging by?
What's right and what's wrong and who's to judge?
Is it right to stand by ones principles and values if it meant others' tears and sorrow?
Would this not be known more as selfishness than any other positive beliefs in one's called principles and values?
What good would it be when others feel uncomfortable with your actions?
Will you not then be labelled a tyrant and want only your ways and not any other ways?

Life's journey is about creating joy in the world and not endlessly causing sorrow and pain.
Life's journey is not about one making a decision and having the others to stay and suffer as a result of that decision.
Life's journey becomes meaningful only when one decides to walk a mile in the other person's shoes and understand their world and viewpoint.
Life's journey is surely not imposing one's beliefs on others and expecting them to follow suit.
Life's journey is actually about making the wrong choices but to be able to later make again the correct choice after acknowledging that a wrong decision was indeed made.

Again,who then determine who's right and who's wrong....

Feeling the heat ...

Day by day, the Sun revolves around Earth, with each rotation the Earth makes in those 24 hours, drastic changes surface - the climate is losing its cool and so am I.

I for one know nothing about climate change or global warming but this for sure - I am experiencing this extremely uncomfortable situation in not having an air-conditioner working in my room.

Its a long story but this has somehow taught me a lesson, a bitter one and certainly hope this 'heat' issue is not going to drag on as a long one especially when the weekend is drawing near. I aren't going into details about how it all happened but this was what I learnt from this whole incident.

In life, we take a lot of things for granted, family and friends are surely one of those components that we take for granted but have you ever thought what would happen should someday, your household appliances fail you. Unlucky me, our air-con has broken down and tonight is going to be the second night without an air-con.

I cannot remember when on earth was the last time I actually slept without this
'air cooler', perhaps twenty years back when I was serving my National Service in some rural part of Singapore. Nothing in life really drives me nuts but this time, without the air-con, I feel frustrated and lost. I even pictured myself leaping out the window just wanting to die at the terrible heat I am facing. Even a fan blowing right at my face is not enough to cool me down, its just a different kind of temperature, a total different world I would say.

See, we all work hard at the office and when we reach home, we just want to pamper ourselves, lie in bed, read a book and feel nice under the sheets with nice and cool air filling the room. Sad to say, I cannot even do that.Its an enjoyment that I cannot even have after a hard day's work. Its causing an eruption of thoughts - anger and pure frustrations.

We took the air-con for granted. When it was working fine, we didn't even realised its existence and importance around us. We would just treat it as 'just another ritual' , placing a finger to the remote and 'beep', the air-con is activated. We do not even need to think, its just purely automatic. Now, its not working. No matter how hard I press on the remote, it just doesn't turn on. I just wish I could be somewhere else, in an air conditioned room but where can I really go? I am just a homeless person and yes, I meant it.

An alternative is the car, it has an air-con and can really cool the atmosphere inside. Frankly, I slept in the car this afternoon. I was just too tired to even drive due to the lack of sleep last night without the air-con. I actually parked my car one side just to nap a short while. Yes, its dangerous sleeping with the air-con on as it could cause carbon monoxide poisoning and I know the consequences but I just could not fight the weariness inside me. Anyway, the consequences of driving when one is fatigue is equally fatal as sleeping with the air-con on in the car.

Feeling this heat, I am at a lost on what is going to happen in the next few days. I know I am not going to sit here and just lose my opportunity of cool air and I for sure will find ways to get myself out of this pathetic state. I want my air-con back, at whatever costs it does not matter. This battle I am fighting is proving too costly for me and its could even cost me my life if this goes on. I don't think a sleepy driver would do any good to this situation especially when he is feeling the heat.

That familiar face ...

I was walking with a colleague this afternoon when she suddenly told me an ex-classmate just walked past her. I asked if we needed to stop so that she could say hello but she shook her head and just walked on.

I guess this scenario happens to each of us once in awhile. To see that old familiar face that could be a mischevious classmate seated just beside us, an ex-girlfriend that you broke up with or perhaps sometimes, a teacher that taught your most hated subject.

I sometimes face this dilemma of whether to stop and greet that person you once called friend or just walk on pretending not to see the person. Very often, I choose the latter. Its not that I am shy though I really am but its more like if this person would be able to recognise you.

How often do you come across a person who suddenly walks up to you and say ' Hi Mark, it's been a long time, how are you?' and at this instance, you strain your memory cells and make quick flashes of your life trying to put a name to this friendly face that just greeted you and very often, you just cannot remember his name. Bang! So how would you continue the conversation? It would be really embarrassing if you said ' Well, I am fine but I somehow cannot remember your name.' This will somehow smash the ego in the other person.

Let's face it, I am sure you must have faced this kind of awkward encounter and totally feel horrible that you cannot remember his name. So what do you do? You apologise and start feeling bad about forgetting his name or perhaps you cook up a story and explain saying you had a bad fall and some parts of your memory went missing. Kidding. Don't even think of this trick! It does not work, I have tried it but don't you ask me who the other person was, I won't tell ...

Perhaps you can casually ask for his email address and tell him you are going to organise a party and that you will write him an email informing him of the details. This way, you will somehow be able to get his name once more. Bet you never thought of this idea.

Uh-huh.So you thought you were brilliant. So what happens if his email was 'greensniper@gmail.com'. Bang! Now you find yourself in thick smoke and a bit lost. At this point of time, you have two choices, to play on the bluff or to admit that you cannot remember his name.

For me, I would give him my mobile number and ask him to call me immediately so that I could keep his number in my phone book. After splitting up, I would then drop him a sms saying ' John, I have been waiting for you at the bus stop, please give me your exact location. I don't want to wait any longer. I am running late.'

Very often, in minutes, a reply will arrive in your inbox. 'Mark, I think you sent to the wrong person, this is Freddie but anyway, it was nice seeing you again. Keep in touch. '

CPIB ...

Corrupt Practices Investigation Bureau or CPIB, an independent body which investigates and aims to prevent corruption in the public and private sectors in Singapore. Established before the Independence of Singapore, this bureau is headed by a director that reports directly to the Prime Minister's office.

People of all walks of life would rather not hear from an officer from CPIB but this evening after dinner, I received a call from a lady officer from CPIB. Fret not, this lady officer was merely returning my call.

I had a question for her, a rather short and simple one. Below was our conversation :

Mark : I would like to find out if the following is considered a corrupt act. I am an employee of an MNC and I happen to get in contact very often with vendors and contractors of all sorts during my work, giving them jobs to do etc. Recently, I faced some problems with my air-con and I would require some expert's advice on this. Is it wrong for me to engage my company's contractors to assist?

Officer : That depends on the situation. I need more details.

Mark : My air-con is not working well and I decided to use one of my company's contractors to help me rectify the problem and enjoying the same price that my company enjoys. Is this legal?

Officer : Are you the boss of the company?

Mark : No, I am an employee.

Officer : If you paid for the service and merely required a professional service without asking or requesting for additional perks, it is not an offence.

Mark : So is it safe for me to proceed with getting them to rectify some problems I have with my air-con and paying them for it?

Officer : As long as you make payment for the service rendered, it is not wrong.

Of course, after finishing the conversation, I went 'thank you'. That's me, a courteous person.

You must be wondering why I made that call. Simple, I did not want to get into trouble with the law. You must be saying 'ya right!'. To tell you the truth, I was sort of provoked during dinner this evening regarding this topic. So who is this daring person who provoked me? Make a guess. A hint, I was having dinner with Sandy's family. You got it right! My future 'father-in-law'.

I know he cares about me and is rather concern about our well-being in this corrupt society. He always passes remarks about corruption and how he turned his back on bribes during his younger days as a clerk-of-works in Hong Kong and ending up slashed and left to bleed just outside a construction project. Till today, you can still see those scars left behind by that brutal attack on him. (The result of not being corrupt ) Kidding.

During dinner, he asked if I came in contact with vendors or contractors at work. I immediately knew the note he was about to sing so I nodded. He was driving at corruption once again but this time, it was closer to the heart. A little more personal as it involves my personal integrity.

Just recently he had some problems with the air-con insulation in his room and despite numerous emails and heated exchanges with the contractor who installed the air-con, they never came to terms and poor me, was assigned to write once more to them. (not that I have not been writing to them )I always dread going into confrontations of such. Knowing me, I am a real pushover when dealing with such issues therefore I told him that I would just engage and pay my company's contractors to finish the repairs.

Mr Shek, upright and always believing in the honest way - which is a good thing sometimes refuses to allow me to use my company's contractors. He feels it is a corrupt practice and that I would be put in a difficult spot or even behind bars for that. You know,I would just stubbornly keep quiet and nod on, agreeing to his every word and sentence but deep inside me, a rather uncomfortable feeling emerges.

Questions started to arise inside my heart, questions about my character, my integrity and pride. What have I done to be thought of this way? Surely he knows what kind of a person I am - timid and never wanting to cross the wrong side of the law. Perhaps he was just protective of us, afraid we will be swayed to the dark side of things and not knowing when we indeed crossed that thin line of what's right and what's wrong.

At least I now know that I am not in any bad light should I one day require the services of my company's contractors and that I can use them freely without fear of having CPIB knocking on my door.

Oops, did I use the word 'freely'? (pun intended)

Fun is what matters ...

Recovering from an overflow of alcohol last night, I am typing this blog from my friend's apartment, where we had crazy fun and lots of laughter.

As usual, it was the same group of friends which consisted of 'Happy 6', a name I have created for this group of close friends - Hanwen, Lance, Clara, Monica , Sandy and yours truly. Not too sure if they 'permit' this name but doesn't matter what we are called, we will stay best friends forever.

So 'Happy 6' got together to celebrate Sandy's birthday, this time it kicked off with a Brazilian dinner followed with beer, wine, cheese, chips and of course a birthday cake. Thanks to Clara, its a Lychee Martini Cake. Great in taste but have to say, a massive amount of cream layered the cake.

We had lots of fun especially with the games we played. All started off with a game familiar with children, UNO. Many of us forgot the rules but along the way, we managed to grasp them. You know what happens to losers don't you? Consume - another word we use to replace the forbidden 'drink'.

So UNO bored us after awhile thus Clara and Sandy decided on another game. This is going to sound really silly but we did it and enjoyed it. We played blindfold catch, all in the boundaries of the living room. We removed all obstacles so that we would not end up with bruised legs and broken glass.

Monica started the game, blindfolded and reaching her hands out to touch any of the other five clowns laughing away and avoiding capture. I have to say it was great fun and all participants were pretty sporting in contributing to the game flow especially Hanwen, who always tries to avoid doing stupid things. Well, if I remembered clearly, he too had his fair share of being blindfolded at least twice. End of the game, everyone had their chance of being blindfolded.

Many of us agreed it became a total different world when we put on the towel and blindfolded ourselves. We felt helpless and vulnerable. We somehow understood how it is to be blind and not being able to see the world. I would urge everyone to try this game if you have a chance to, it brings in lots of childhood memories of playing catch and also, a lesson learnt to treasure those eyes we often take for granted.

The night somehow ended when Monica and Sandy decided to surrender and gave in to the ill effects of alcohol. Leaving Lance, Hanwen, Clara and myself. Surprisingly, Lance was not yet knocked out. He was usually the one who would turn in to sleep first but nevertheless, he did soon 10 minutes into the movie Evan Almighty on DVD. Lying on the floor, he drifted into dream mode. Oblivious of Morgan Freeman's God role in the movie.

Hanwen also decided to fall prey to sleep. He quietly sneaked into his bed and dozed off but unfortunately, Mrs Chan aka Clara wanted him to shower thus he dragged his feet right into the shower, leaving me with the terrifying Clara who kept topping up my glass with more Hoegaarden. As usual, she had evil intentions to make me drunk but of course, that never happens. She too, could not finish the red wine she so happily uncorked. Rephrase, she gave the instructions to Hanwen to uncork. She claims she does not know how to use the traditional corkscrew.

The night ended soon after Clara had her shower and then followed by mine. As usual, my mind was kind of wide awake after the shower and could not fall to sleep immediately. I looked back at what we did that evening and the heart smiled. I felt a sense of warmth and happiness, all thanks to the company of my beloved friends. We enjoyed, we laughed and we celebrated Sandy's 30th birthday. So tell me what's wrong with growing old especially when we are all going to grow old together with 'Happy 6'? I for one am sure that for all our future birthday celebrations, we will be celebrating together as 'Happy 6'. Who knows, we might have new joiners in the future - kids, wailing kids for the first few years, all thanks to Lance and Monica, Hanwen and Clara. I promise I will not be the bad influence and introduce alcohol to them and make it a substitute for milk.

Overeating ...

Its another one of those trips to a buffet dinner, this time round we visited York Hotel's White Rose Cafe where authentic Penang hawker fare can be found in the heart of Orchard Road.

Penang Laksa, Char Kway Teow, Rojak , Oyster omelettes and many more savoury dishes whipped out by famous hawkers flown in from the popular Malaysian town of Penang. Penang, a state in Malaysia popular for its food fare and Peranakan heritage is often visited not so much for its sight but for its local cuisines of various mixtures of Chinese, Malay and Indian flavours.

A long queue was spotted despite our early arrival at 6.30pm. Considering it rather early for a week day but nevertheless, Singaporeans hunger for a delicious meal after a hard day's work moreover, this Penang hawker fare happens only twice or three times a year. I guess its that deep longing feel that builds appetites in Singaporeans and make them hungry for more.

Scattered in various locations of the cafe, mini queues were formed. People patiently waited behind one another , courteous and friendly, a total contrast from my previous encounter at the Rendezvous hotel. I guess I have to applaud the hotel for preparing little notices telling people that each person was entitled to only 2 plates per queue, nothing more. This somehow assured patrons that there was enough to satisfy everyone with huge appetites.

I came across this unusual sign that read ' Like all great dishes, this popular treat is best savoured in moderation to avoid any discomfort after '. Marvellous, hotels are even taking that extra step in helping people curb weight problems and binge eating or was it a diplomatic reminder not to waste food.

I remembered when buffet was first introduced in Singapore I was only 8 years old. I had this tendency to take more than I could finish at and after the meal, I would place the unfinished food on a plate and sneaked it back into the buffet spread - an ugly sight indeed. As I grow older (and wiser) , I often take food in smaller portions and in moderation.

That sign might have saved a couple of lives especially for those who have the tendency to eat massive amounts of their favourite food and forget that overeating is an unhealthy habit. How often do we find ourselve rubbing our stomachs and complaining that we cannot move due to the overfilled tummy. Let's face it, it happens most of the time we enter a buffet. Perhaps its the mindset Singaporeans have that buffets are meant for filling the stomach and that we should skip all other meals prior to entering a buffet restaurant.

I guess such life saving signs like the one in the photo should be placed at the main entrance of every buffet outlet so that people can achieve two things :

1) not to waste food
2) watch that diet and not overeat

This way we can educate healthy living, healthy lifestyle in Singaporeans and bring down the percentage of obesity in our children. So the next time before you reach for that extra piece of beef steak, ask yourself if you have space for more in your stomach and not just fill that empty space on your plate.

Untitled ...

Where has my interests gone for something I used to love and depend on so much. Where was the music that revolved around me wherever I may roam ? Music used to be more than a past time for me, it was a passion and an expression of my thoughts. It was almost my everything.

I was exposed to the different music made by various composers, from Beethoven to Dick Lee, Leslie Cheung to Yoshiki. Language was no barrier for the music I listened to as I focused on the music more than words and slowly crafting out the meaning by way of imagery in the mind, bit by bit with the help of the melody.

Recently I found myself staring blankly at my collection of CD albums I had stashed aside in my cupboard. I couldn't decide what to listen to, I couldn't find that music that the inner soul wanted to hear. I felt rather disappointed. The huge amount of money I had spent on these CDs yet they couldn't satisfy me. It could not soothe me anymore. I was so tempted to just throw them away.

I dug deeper into the stacks of CDs piled up and found my well-known collection of X-Japan still wrapped up in plastic packaging. To digress a little, the reason for them to be 'deeper' inside the cupboard was because I didn't want dust on them. Anyway, I decided to unwrap one of them and played it.A familiar melody brought nostalgic moments of younger days, days of rebellion and a search of identity to who I am and what exactly was I to do with my life as till today, I still have not found that direction.

Wake up call ...

How often do we snooze our alarm clocks and allow it to ring again 5 minutes later, 10 minutes later or perhaps, some let it ring again after 15 minutes from the original alarm that was initially set? For me, I need at least 5 minutes snooze before I get myself out of bed.

So what happens in that 5 minutes of peace after the first alarm? The mind slowly wakes up to plan the day ahead and think of all the work that is waiting at the office. I always believed in taking some time to picture the day and try to make the best of it. Its only normal, who wishes to have a bad day at the office right? Of course, at times, the mind would wander straight to after office hours, picturing dinner with friends or that simple soccer game you'll have in the evening.

Often, I find my 5 minutes of personal time disrupted by noises of loud knocks on the door to wake Sandy up ( by her mother ) or the naughty Jack Russels barking. I guess I am a person who likes peace and never noise. I remembered when I was younger, I used to wake up to the sound of music as the hi-fi was also used as my alarm clock. Waking up to the sound of music always brightens my day but my current Bose system doesn't carry such a function thus no music to wake me up.

Yes, I know mobile phones have such functions and am already using it to wake myself up every morning. The sound ...? Barking of dogs. ; )

Lust ...

Sneaks up from behind, creeps in deep within.

Lust, man's most hated enemy.

An enemy that invades, destroys and leaves only traces of damaged debris.

An enemy that does not subdue easily yet possible to control occasionally.

An enemy that when awaken, provokes and tempts you to self destruct.

An enemy that leaves families, hearts and relationships broken.

This is the result of lust - irreparable trust.

BBQ Sting Ray ...

A father upon hearing that his eldest son loves eating BBQ Sting Ray, decided to take the responsibility upon himself to buy fresh sting rays, marinate it and spent 40 minutes barbequeing it. Its the first time he's trying this new dish and he might not have perfected the taste but nevertheless, the time and effort in preparing the sting ray almost welled up his son's tears. A soft touch of a father's care.

Another father painstakingly takes the daily routine of washing fruits, taking into every detail of pesticide on the fruit and making sure its cleansed thoroughly before he processes them to its liquid form - juice. He makes sure everyone gets a cup full for each member in the family. Another soft touch of a father's care.

Yet another father, godfather to be exact often whips up simple yet delicious home cooked food, food that he learnt from his younger days from his mother. From Penang laksa to chicken rice, crabs to sambal squid, you name it and he is more than willing to prepare them. Again, another soft touch of a father's care.

I feel rather blessed to have three fathers, a biological father, a father-in-law to be and last but not least, a godfather. These father figures will soon be featured in KraMfriends* soon so don't miss reading about the fathers who play a rather important role in my life and how they have impacted my growth from a child to an adult I am now.

*for those who have not visited KraMfriends,its another of my blog that features the friends and family around me.

Where has everyone else gone ...?

I find myself seated at Long Bar of Raffles Hotel, a hotel that has a rather long history since its opening in 1887 during colonial Singapore and the creator of the popular cocktail, Singapore Sling.

Thanks to technology, I am able to blog this right off my phone as the music from the 7-piece band perform right in front of me. Music shouting into my ears. As I sit and watch the other tables surrounding me, happy laughter and great company accompanied the patrons of this bar. All but me.

Its rather unusual to be alone on a Saturday night as I am usually in the warm comfort of either friends or family. Today, everyone else has got programs of their own except for yours truly.

In my previous blogs, I did mention that I do not like eating alone and if I had to, I would rather choose to forgo my meals, like I did for the past many days. What to do? Am too dependant on company of friends.

So what is it like to feel alone especially on a Saturday?I really don't know. Its a mix feeling.A little excited but a little skeptical if I can last even an hour in a bar that is filled with happy faces that I do not recognise. If only I were a little friendlier to the group of ladies next to my table, who knows I might just get lucky. Lucky to make a friend, whatwere yo thinking?

For tonight's company, I carry a book with me. Thinking I could read it but no, the lights here are too dim. I should have known, how could a bar have lights bright enough for reading. The book titled 'Like the flowing river' written by Paulo Coelho, a book expressing the author's thoughts and reflections. The exact same thing of what I am doing right now, thinking and reflecting what tonight will be without friends but only with strangers around me.

As the band plays to the familiar tune of 'Africa' by Toto, I drift my eyes away from the band and to the table right across. Three ladies smiling and posing as they take snapshots of one another, tourists I believe they are. Koreans perhaps. The nationality that has been in the news for the wrong reasons in Middle East.

So what would my life be without friends? Pathetic and lonely like what I am now. I kind of thought the music would somehow tame that lonesome feel from exploding but its not working especially to the song 'All night long'. Right. A rather long night before I pick Sandy from her Aaron Kwok concert in 2 hours.

Before I stepped into this bar, I actually dropped an sms to my buddy Hanwen, hinting to him l will be here listening in to the band alone. He's always nice to me and will always try and make time for me but I know its a little selfish on my part to take him away from spending time with his family and wife thus I never intended to rush him here or even get him to be here with me.

Can anyone be without friends at any point of time in their lives? Rephrase. Can anyone be without friends for a long period of time, say 1 week without meeting up? I for one can't be alone without friends for less than 24 hours, what worse way to torture me for a week. If this really happened, I am really sure I would have walked across the dance floor, right to the table of three ladies and introduced myself. I would have made a friend then. Ahh.... A fourth lady just joined the group and they are introducing themselves. Another friendship blossomed.

Life without strangers - a familiar tag line of apparel Giordano. How about ' connecting people' ? Nokia. See, even brands are pushing the importance of having friends. I remembered clearly when I was younger, my mother would always ask me to make friends with the other children at the playground. I did and I always thought I really had many friends so where have they all gone to tonight?

Frankly, I tried making a few appointments but was turned down so I decided to brave myself and stay alone and I did it for almost two hours now. I guess its the final minutes of my lonely night as I just received an sms from Hanwen saying he will be here in less than 10 minutes.I have to say its a really huge feat for me to stay alone for two hours especially on a Saturday night - the only night one really gets to enjoy himself without worrying of getting up late the next day.

My conclusion is this, friends play a very important part in our growth and social life and we must never take them for granted. If opportunity allows, make more friends, its never a bad thing to have many friends but it sure is a terrible feeling when you do not have friends to idle your day away or a friend to share those burdens you might carry with you. So should you ever want to make friends with the people across your table, go ahead, it's never wrong to make friends.

I shall now sit patiently and wait for someone in the crowd to approach lonely me seated beside the stage. So where are you Hanwen?

Will it end here ....?

It was the final day of the Radio Academy Course. Time flies when you learn things that interest you. You get to learn about what happens behind that familiar voice over the radio, the show preparation, the studio setting and most importantly, the fun that the DJ actually enjoys. How envious.

We heard our voices at class and had some pretty good comments about our show preparation, only that it wasn't so appropriate for radio -a theatre of the mind. You must be wondering why it wasn't appropriate, all because the topic of one of our talksets has got to do with the male organ between the legs. Taboo topic says our trainer, Dahlia Z.For me it was fine, the satisfaction of having the whole class laugh admirably on the crafting of the jokes and stories were enough to make our day. Even the guest DJ also found it wisely plotted. Great job we did, Za and Nora !

We were each given our own copies of our recording so if you want to listen to the talksets, perhaps you would like to buy me a nice meal before I let you into that dark world of mine. ; )

Recording that voice ...

Each breath I took had to be calculated. The length of sentences and the strength of each intonation made every bit a difference. I had to inject life into these words, to make it come alive and let the emotions be felt.

The signal to record came on, 3,2,1 and there I was,a live recording of my voice. Script in front of me, I spoke the first words. A trembling vibration ran through me, a little nervous, a little worried. Time I told myself. Pace the delivery of each word, each sentence.

First page delivered, second and third went off pretty smoothly. The rhythm was there so was the courage. I was enjoying the experience. It was no longer a scary routine nor was it anymore heart pounding. My breath slowly became normal and most importantly the confidence built was enough for me to do more talk sets. I felt three talksets wasn't enough but that was all I had, all that was assigned and given to each of us. We had to be contended with the achievements we made so far. It was fairly good for a beginner, so I was told.

I wanted more challenges. I liked the show preparations, the excitement and most importantly having fun in what I was doing. I am begging for more, I want more of such experience, I just want to move this to another level. I know I can and if I believe I can, I will achieve. Its going to be rough but I will stay strong and persevere and hopefully one day will come for me to perform again.

Teachers' Day ....

Teachers' Day is round the corner and it has been ages since I celebrated Teachers' Day. I remembered when we were in school, Teachers' Day was a holiday and on the eve, it would be a half day curriculum only. How fun. Students gathered in the assembly hall watching performances of fellow schoolmates performing the most ridiculous dances and songs. Some were good while some were really poorly choreographed.

I remembered there were some years which I too had my fair share of performances. My performances were always the best. ; ) I either played the piano, sang a song or read poetry. Okay, I know which bores you, poetry reading right? Nevertheless, whenever I finished my performances, I felt relieved having to finally shrug off that burden that followed me through rehearsals after rehearsals.

On Teachers' Day, Mom would always pack some presents for my teachers. I never understood the rationale behind this but it was likely a gesture equivalent to bribery, all for the purpose of having better results reflected in my year end report card - especially the part where teachers will give remarks like, 'Mark is a friendly and helpful boy who has great potential in excelling in the future.' Stop chuckling. Its true, teachers always praise me somehow or another. I was often a teacher's pet and I always stayed out of trouble or at least, I made it look that way.

Teachers play an important role in our lives, directing us the right way, grooming us to be fine men in society. Educating us and imparting as much knowledge as possible so that we will be able to contribute to our society in a positive way. What they do is much respected and noble. Many teachers I know forgo the opportunity of success in the corporate world, staying firm in their beliefs that their roles as educators play a more significant and important role in developing the future generations than the attractiveness of dollars and cents offered by Multi-National Companies and Government Linked Companies.

Wait a minute, don't get me wrong, teachers in Singapore are not lowly paid but that of the opposite. They are one of the highest paid civil servants with huge bonuses and one of the only profession that has a holiday marked for them, 'Teachers' Day'. Ever heard of a public holiday called ' Doctor's Day' or ' CEO's Day'? Now you know the importance of a teacher don't you?

Life is fragile ...

I felt disturbed after watching a video clip on Youtube. It was a death video of a soccer player. I guess I was merely curious about the whole incident and how it happened but now it seems curiosity really killed the cat in me. Disturbed by the fact that life is nothing more than a blade of grass found in a vast piece of land.

Each blade of grass represents each being on earth. Fragile and waiting to wither. The saddest thing is that you will never know when its your turn to be struck by those strong arms of Death. I am sure the soccer player who died recently in a game between Seville and Getafe never knew it was his last time playing the game he loved. Same goes for the Army Captain that collapsed after a 21 kilometer run, he too never knew that after reaching that finishing point, it would also signify the end of life's journey.

Cardiac arrest was likely the cause of these unfortunate deaths. So what is cardiac arrest? Its the sudden abrupt loss of the heart function that is likely due to coronary heart disease, respiratory arrest etc. It can also occur without any known cause. Its a silent killer in all of us.

Can you imagine athletes whom are fit and supposedly living the healthy lifestyle with regular exercise and workouts collapsing just like that? What more would it be if its someone like me. I am someone who plays soccer once in awhile without even warming up and I often play for about 60 minutes a week. Other than soccer, I hardly exercise much. Am I also at risk of a cardiac arrest every time I participate in vigorous activities? I guess as long as we have a heart that pumps, we are all at risk of having that heart stopped for no apparent reason. A joke that God pulls off without thinking of the consequence of sobbing family, relatives and friends.

If given a chance to choose the way I die, I would choose to die in bed, with family and friends having the opportunity to bid me farewell and to tell me how much I was treasured in my lifetime. Like many others, I will not like leaving this world quietly without goodbyes. I want to tell how much I love my family and friends, I don't want to be unheard.

I guess instead of pondering about how fragile life is, we should take every opportunity, every moment with family and friends and let them know how important and treasured they are. Let's not take things for granted and live life to the fullest cause we never will know when that time will come for us to be one of God's latest prank.

Asia's King of fruit..

What other fruit can give off a trail of scent that lasts for days? What other fruit can kill when its thrown at you? Seems like its an obvious answer - the durian.

This thorny fruit is unique in its taste. A little bitter in some, sweet in others. In Singapore, the durian is often called the forbidden fruit. Its forbidden in public transports, hotels etc. Its rather obvious to why its not allowed in certain places, its the way it smells.This fruit carries its own cologne that is really strong or perhaps pungent some may say. It could take many days to get rid of that stench from your car or room.

Behind this fruit lies many myths. Ever heard about durian mixing with alcohol causes death? Not sure how true this is but linking this concoction with death, many people rather choose to believe the myth. I have been searching for an answer but never found one. Asked doctors and they often shrugged it off saying its not true but when I asked if they tried mixing it, they'll say no.

It is also said that when one washes his or her hands with the thorny shell after eating the fruit, the stench on the hands will go away. I tried it a number of times too but only to find myself disappointed with that same familiar smell lingering in my fingers. It just cannot go away.

I read somewhere in a magazine recently claiming that a scientist found that the durian husk can be used as a kind of fuel in the future, to generate energy for moving cars and provide electricity. Can you imagine the smell of our environment next time? I can't imagine durian husks all over the city.

I guess the only truth about the King of Fruit is its high levels of saturated fats and a contributor of high cholesterol. So the next time you want to eat that very last piece left unfinished, you had better think twice.

The voice ...

This evening, I attended Media Academy's Radio Presentation Course. My first day of the five day class.Well, not that I am shy about this but I always had interest in radio, television, advertising etc. I guess its communication by ways of the different mediums made available that sort of interest me. Who knows, the next time I might stop blogging and go into vblogging instead.

The course was attended by people of all walks of life, different sizes and different ages. Am sure everyone there has a dream to achieve- to be a jockey. Radio jockey, not those on horses mind you.

Programme Director of Class 95,Erina Cook, was the trainer today. It will be followed by other trainers like Mark Richmond and Daniel Ong. It was exciting to learn that on Thursday, a recording will be done on our 'show presentation'. Its a mix of excitement and that adrenaline rush of nervousness. I guess it all boils down on 'show preparations'.

Every morning when I travel to work, I would hear Glenn and FD on Class 95 blaberring non-stop, a result of show preparations. Lots of work I believe.

Let's see what good I'll get from finishing this course, perhaps I would be a better presenter at weddings and who knows, a part time show presenter for dinner and dance or maybe road shows, or simply just a voice over for commercials or that automated voice you often hear at our government agencies, 'All our operators are busy, please hold and you will be attended to shortly .... Beep...'

The War Room.....

Only a sliding glass separates us.I sat and looked through the 'fish tank' as a group of guys and gals were in discussion. Tactics and master plans were progressively being formed. Amongst them, disagreements can be heard once in awhile, but laughter of joy mainly filled this room-The War Room they called it.

Seated where I am and visible to the people inside, these copywriters, account managers, art and creative directors were probably thinking if I would be the next person to join the team. They must feel it weird that I am dressed in a shirt and tie, a contrary as they were in T-shirts and jeans. The casual attire that is often found in the creative industry.

Awaiting my turn for the interview, I often wondered what questions will be asked. Would it be something different from the rest of those I have attended years back? Afterall, its my first time trying to enter the advertising field, a career path I always wanted to take but due to the lack of experience, I often shun such jobs advertised in the papers. Who would have known I would suddenly send a resume out and even got selected for the interview. Lucky me. Very lucky me.

Terence, Account Director at Toff&Devs greeted me with a smile.Rather warm and friendly, he started the interview with a few rather interesting questions like why I want to join the industry and how I could contribute.I answered him frankly on the 'whys and hows'. He provided me with insights and perspectives from his view. Really interesting.

Here comes the nerve wrecking part, the test of creativity. Do I have what it takes to deserve the role of a Business Development personnel. From his explanation, BD isn't just a person who hunts for businesses or act as a relationship manager, a BD person has to be able to think on his feet and give suggestions or graphics whenever he is asked especially so during the first visit to the client's office.

I was given the Nike brand, to come up with a teaser. Gee, I felt teased. I cracked my head and thought for a while, we needed something that could lead others to be interested in the advert. I thought of N series (Nokia), as it seemed the series of the new shoes also happened to be N series. For me, am not sure if there are legal consequences but anyway, I didn't voice this idea out, I gave another. Don't ask what i gave, I won't say it.

Terence didn't look impressed. There, I failed to show off or pull off the creative side of me. Till now, I have not heard from him. Its been a week and the last I heard from Terence was that he'll make a decision soon and will let me know. Let's see how lucky I get this time round but I doubt it that he'll give me the opportunity cause I don't think he will want to have a colleague walking around the office carrying ' The dummies guide to advertising'.

Birthdays ...

Its been a week of birthday celebrations for me this weekend. It all started off with Dick's birthday concert , Clara's surprise party and lastly grandma's 78th birthday lunch and dinner.

Not sure how you readers feel about birthdays, for me, its rather significant and important. Its 'the day' that marks the birth of a unique person in you, the very day your mother painstakingly pushed you out into this world after nine months of carrying a bulging stomach - an outcome of a father's seed.

I kind of turn emotional when I sing to the tune of the celebratory song 'Happy Birthday'. Thoughts that usually run in my mind is the number of years one has walked - simply, your age. Despite age being just another number, its also a measure of triumph when one gets to celebrate his or her birthday. Its everyone's wish to be able to live to see and celebrate this very day thus I am one who is thankful whenever I get to celebrate a birthday.

Frankly, how many of us know when its the last time one celebrates his or her birthday especially with the different kinds of threats we are surrounded with. From terrorism to bacteria, we never know when that time will ever come and hit us thus let us treasure all those birthday parties with our loved ones, something sweet to remember. So the next time you sing a birthday song with me, please try not to look into my eyes as I will feel a little embarrassed when that tear gets spotted and if you do spot it, please don't you even laugh.

His birthday concert ...

Dick Lee has turned 51 today and how else could the 'Master of Singlish' celebrate his birthday? Of course, by singing tunes familiar to his family, friends and fans. I have to say I was really lucky to be able to attend this concert, I kind of waited almost 2 years for this. Two years no big deal right? ( Singlish kicking in, too much of Dick's influence liao la) It seemed to me that only two rows of seats were left for fans, the rest were family and friends.

I have to thank Sandy for purchasing these tickets for me to catch tonight's concert, she even bought me Dick Lee's 30th Anniversary 'Life Stories' concert DVD. I wish she could buy the whole series of albums displayed at the counter but let's not be too greedy. By the way, I was shocked to find that the DVD we bought was empty without its disc. Will have to make a call to Singapore Repertoire Theatre tomorrow or Music and Movement to get a replacement.

Watching Dick perform made me sit and pay attention, I didn't fidget nor did I even stetch my legs. Can you believe it? Two hours of singing and dancing. Yes, Dick danced to what he called Dance Sensation, a medley of dance music from Disco to Line-Dancing. Was really entertaining. Of course, Dick will never waste this opportunity to display his love for our nation and that of our neighbour, Malaysia.

Having all proceeds donated to the Singapore Repertoire Theatre, it was annouced that the show alone raised up to S$50,000. Quite a hefty sum for a small group of about a hundred odd crowd. Nevertheless, Dick Lee has showed great showmanship together with his brothers John and Peter who also performed a song each.They sure are a musically inclined family. Am looking forward to Dick's next public performance and hopefully the next time round, he'll play my favourite songs, Life Story and Bunga Sayang.

Living that dream...

Entering the reception at MediaCorp this evening brought me memories of me 13 years ago. You must be wondering what on earth was I doing at SBC (Singapore Broadcasting Corporation before it became MediaCorp) at the young age of 15. It was exactly the same reason why I was there tonight but only from a different stand point. This time I was there as part of the audience to catch 'Live The Dream'

13 years ago,I too tried living a dream when a friend of mine formed Image,a 3 person band that played its own original songs, written and composed by 15 year olds. I still remembered how nerve wrecking it was then when we were waiting for our turn to perform in a song writing competition on national television's only Mandarin channel- Channel 8.

Well, the outcome was that we won no glamour as we fell out in the semi-finals, losing to the winners of the competition.( at least we managed to win a second in another competition that same year ) Well, it didn't matter that we lost but am sure three of us had that valuable experience that many never will have, to perform in front of national television.Something which I believe might never happen for me again but fingers crossed.

Watching the contestants of Live The Dream this evening, I could feel their mixed feelings of joy and anxiety as they each took their chance to achieve that dream.That very dream they always dreamt of could just shatter in front of their very eyes should they hit the wrong note.

Let's give them applause for mustering courage to step out there and try living their dreams. Seriously, how many of us here dare to step out of that comfort zone and venture in a journey that you have once upon a time longed for. A journey that could lead to your dreams of stardom, glamour and success. If you asked me, I don't have those guts. Gutless I am. Afraid to face failure in the eyes, its the very reason I want to stay comfortable and not tread stormy waters.

Then again, there is another side of us that still struggle within, searching for that answer, searching for that unfulfilled dream. If only I could live life again and turn back time, I would pursue my dreams wholeheartedly and wipe out all obstacles in my way, making sure the dream comes true but for now, its only if.

Who's me ....?

Its been quite sometime since I have been reprimanded by friends who just cannot take my nonsense. Believe it or not, I have been labelled as 'beng' -an equivalent of a street bum in Singapore's context.

Taken from the Hokkien dialect, 'bengs' are people who speak loudly, act tough and often stray to the wrong side of the law. Most importantly, they are often found hanging out in groups, loitering in older malls and in coffee shops.

There I was, seated in an alfresco setting, under beautifully landscaped trees with jazz music in the background, hanging out with few other close friends for dinner at Oosh, a newly established restaurant at Dempsey Road. Not a typical 'beng' hangout. Not even close.

Whispering to Hanwen rather softly with the occasional hand gestures and having our eyes stuck to the group of teenage girls seated across our table, I suddenly found myself being hurled at and verbally abused by Clara. My oh my....! She scolded us for acting childish and behaving like polytechnic students oogling at girls.

Now, what on earth was wrong that we cannot whisper, smile and admire the beauty works of Earth. There is nothing wrong at all in exchanging opinions and talking about the 'dream girl' we always dreamt of when we were schoolboys. Pure men's talk. Isn't this similar to women's talk of cute male celebrities and latest fashion trends?

Being labelled as a 'beng' is too harsh a word to be used on this two gentlemen. What's said remains said, there is no turning back with those hurting words as they destroy a man's dignity and ego. 'Beng' is too demeaning, perhaps 'buaya' would be more suitable.

*buaya is a Malay word for crocodile. Also to describe a man's cheeky character especially towards females.

Mixed feelings ...

Opinions differ thus arguments arise. Are arguments good or bad? Is it wrong to stubbornly stand firm on one's own beliefs and shun the other's opinion? I guess people see things in different light and different angles.

Just yesterday, I posted some photos of ugly Singaporeans jostling at a buffet dinner on STOMP, an interactive website. Its interesting to know many commented with both positive and negative aspects.

Of course in Singapore, not everyone is 'kiasu', there are firm believers that Singaporeans need improvement in being gracious and well-mannered but on the other hand, there stands another group believing that there is nothing wrong with attaining what they want by being 'kiasu'.Mixed feelings. Mixed opinions.

What a catch ....

Singaporeans are likely brought up to believe that being 'Kiasu' is one of the important traits to possess when living in this sunny island Singapore. For those who don't know what 'Kiasu' means, it means 'being afraid to lose' or in its simplest form of translation from the dialect, its 'scared lose'.

While having a buffet dinner at Hotel Rendezvous last night with some friends, I felt a little embarrassed at the way some adults were piling their food into stacks of mountains that could well be steeper than Bukit Timah Hill (supposedly the highest hill in Singapore). What to do, they were probably afraid that the hotel would stop the 'supplies' of oysters, sashimis and prawns - the main reason why patrons are at a hotel buffet. Sometimes I wonder how much food goes to waste and if these hungry bunch of people can really finish up what they have taken. This is an example of 'kiasu' Singaporeans.

The highlight of the evening was this - a group of adults were crowding round an empty tray labelled 'Crayfish'. Mind you, it was empty but look at the photo, people were waiting patiently for the 'prized' seafood to be served. The crowd grew bigger as more Singaporeans came fighting for their rights to catch a crayfish cooked in chilli sauce.

I can't believe this group of crayfish-hungry crowd would actually stand there for about fifteen minutes, waiting for the catch of the night.All armed with empty plates, the chilli covered crayfish finally made its appearance. The crowd went crazy, jostling and wrestling for their fair share of the seafood.

Wait a minute, did I say fair share? Look at one of the photos, did you see this lady's plate filled with almost six pieces? Its not fair isn't it cause I didn't get a piece of it. Well, who's to be blamed? I didn't queue for it. Perhaps there wasn't a 'kiasu' trait in me as my parents always taught me to be generous and to share. Whatever it is, I think Singaporeans will need to learn to be graceful and polite. What would the world think of us when we fight in buffets let alone should one day, a calamity hit Singapore and we have a shortage of food, would Singaporeans then stab their fellow countrymen just to have that packet of food ration. Horrible thought isn't it?

By the way, I contributed this experience of mine to Stomp too. http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/viewPost4949.aspx

Reactive tastebuds.

Lifestyles differ from person to person. Some insist in carrying the latest Louis Vitton handbag, some prefer donning the trendiest watch and some like me just prefer pampering the sense of taste with quality food. Of course, there are some which can have all of them but for me, not yet but soon hopefully.

Lifestyle often described as the habits, tastes and economic level that together constitutes the mode of living by an individual or a group of people. It could be simple, expensive or 'undesirable'.

Let's skip the 'undesirable' category as this is usually the abnormal group of people that likely indulge in everything negative from drugs to alocohol and sexual flings.

In every cents (pun intended), economic level of an individual plays an important part in a lifestyle. I would think its unhealthy for anyone to live beyond one's means and accumulate heaps of credits just to sustain his or her lifestyle. For me now, I wouldn't want to indulge in the latest gadgets, latest fashion etc although I often have a desire to want them all but there is something peculiar which I require. Its food. It has to have quality. It need not be expensive but it has to give me a sense of satisfaction after I finish my meal.

Just yesterday, Lance and Monica met us ( this would often mean Sandy and I ) for dinner at a Korean restaurant at Heeren. Excited, we ordered a few popular dishes but were rather disappointed when it was served. The food presentation wasn't anywhere near average nor was the taste any good let alone the service staff weren't all that friendly.

During the meal, there were some comparison with another Korean restaurant that we often frequent at Mosque Street, Jang Won's the name. Everything was perfect there, authentic or not I cannot tell as I have not been lucky enough to visit Korea but its confirmed the chefs and staff are Korean.

In the midst of comparison, we recalled that we ever had our meal in the same Korean restaurant in Heeren 3 years ago but why was it then, there were no complains. Immediately I realised, we might have acquired better taste and expectations. What was good then might not be good enough now. All thanks to better economic levels and exposure to better quality food. I mean if given a choice, you would never want to downgrade from a BMW to a KIA right? I guess it works the same for food, at least for me.

Its true, if you experienced the best stuff, you wouldn't want to go for second-best if you could afford it right? I had dinner with my buddy Hanwen and wife at Shangri-la's 'The Line', a coffee house with a buffet theme. It was fabulous. Tasty food with good presentation. Who could resist? I mean I have been to many other buffets at Oriental's 'Melt, The World Cafe', Ritz Carton's 'Green House' and Conrad's 'Oscars' but 'The Line' I feel is still the best.

It's ironic as when I was in my worst economic times, a buffet near the heartland malls was more than enough to bring smiles to my face but now, its doesn't anymore. Well, I know, it is really bad to be picky about food but I guess that is how people improve and strive for the better. Who wouldn't want a better lifestyle?

I have spoken lots about the more expensive food but the truth is , the food need not be expensive to make me happy. It can be cheap hawker but the food must tastes just as good. I love hawker food too only that in hawker centres, I tend to perspire more but what to do? That's the price you have to pay when the food is cheap and good. For example, I would never eat claypot rice anywhere else except for two food joints, one in 328 Clementi and the other at the makeshift market along Cantonment Road. This two places have the best claypot rice and having to wait for at least forty five minutes, it's all worth it!

I guess as time progresses together with one's economic levels, the exposure to higher quality desires is inevitable but we still have to remember the good old roots that made us who we are and not forget the family and friends around us. Let's not allow lifestyles to manipulate us but instead , let us be the ones to control of our lifestyles.

Dieting ..

Have you heard your female friends whine about how they require to diet and how much they feel about themselves being fat? How many of them really require to diet? Seriously, not many.

Could it be due to the many slimming advertisements that are shown on television and the magazines comparing the 'before' and 'after' effect? I personally feel that slimming down is not necessary unless the doctor specifically tells you so.

I believe very much that should one exercise regularly and maintain a healthy diet, there is no need to diet. What's the fuss with dieting pills and eating less? I have this perception people who diet are not really happy people because they just feel something isn't right about themselves and thus they try really hard to change that figure from 'fat' to 'slim' or maybe 'sexy'.

Imagine the torture of going through the process of not being able to eat the food you like much. Chocolate, curry, ice cream etc. You just have that urge to gobble all the food you want but you have to refrain that inner appetite and fight off the temptations. I see no reason why anyone would like to get tortured this way.

I think its healthier to maintain that weight of yours than to let it get lost drastically. By the way, who says a woman is sexy only when she is slim? I guess a woman is sexy only when she portrays a positive personality and create lots of happy vibes therefore the next time you want to diet, ask yourself do you really need to shed those weight? If its for that man you love, kick his butt and tell him off. Which loving man would bear to see the lady he loves suffer from the simplest form of indulgence - eating to your heart's content.

Meals alone ...

Many of my friends who know me well enough will also know that I never like eating alone and if I ever have to eat alone, it will be a take-away meal for me. You must think I am nuts but I just feel its kind of pitiful to be having a meal alone. It makes me feel like I have no friends, which of course is not true.

Let me tell you a little story about a meal I had alone. I remember clearly this all happened at McDonald's in Jurong about a few years ago.

Stomach growling and all alone, I decided to drive to the nearest McDonald's to fill the tummy. I ordered a Big Mac value meal and was told that Big Mac was not ready thus I was told to wait for about 5 minutes or so. Well, It was fine with me, another 5 minutes won't kill me thus I decided to take my regular French Fries and an upsized Diet Coke and find myself a table.

Like any other patrons, I took time to squeeze some ketchup on the serviettes before I dipped my fries in them. Took a sip or two of Diet Coke and waited for my Big Mac to be served fresh from the kitchen. Waited for awhile and no one approached me with any burgers thus I decided to approach the counter and asked for my Big Mac. I was told its coming and that they will deliver it to me in the next three minutes. Okay, being patient me, I turned around only to see an elderly woman taking my tray of fries and beverage walking towards the bin.

What could I do? She was an old lady making a living by wiping tables and clearing trays that are left behind by customers. I cannot blame her for throwing my food away because I did not make any indication on that table stating that I am still around in the fast food restaurant. I decided to walk out of McDonald's and forget my Big Mac. What's the point? If I had to take my Big Mac, I would surely need another drink.

Its a lesson learnt for me, never to eat alone as you never know what will happen to your food should you leave it unattended. Frankly, its not because of this incident that I never eat alone, its just that I love the company of friends while having a meal. Period.

Credit out , Cash in.

I sometimes wonder when and how did the term "credit" come about. Was it invented by some merchant that didn't need the money but wanted to get rid of his goods? I aren't sure how it all came about but I sure know in today's context, a credit can be useful and can also be deadly.

Credit comes in many forms nowadays, from the traditional rectangular credit cards to cheque books with overdraft facilities. Should you want to find out more, just hit the banks and you will find heaps of advertisement promoting the various credit facilities available. Not forgetting the fabulous prizes one may win should he choose to sign up immediately there and then.

Recently in the local newspapers, we read that banks can now allow students with no income to apply for credit cards. Can you believe this? Credit cards for students with no income. Is that insanity or another method of teaching children from a young age never to overspend and should they ever overspend, the consequences could be bitter? I don't know any reason for such a move to target students except that of banks wanting to profit not only from those with income but also those without.

What made me want to write on credit issues? Simple. I just opened up my credit card bills and was shocked to see the figures staring in my face, telling me its pay back time. The figures were correct, no discrepancies. I indeed made those purchases and had those fancy meals without the need to pay cash. All I had to do was flash my card and leave my signature behind. Painless process - at least for that moment.

The painful and torturing part comes when you have to open up your bank book, make some calculations and find out that the remainder of what you own is not enough for you to live by the next ten days. You suddenly feel like a depressed soul. Thoughts enter your mind, saying ' What if I didn't buy that Prada bag or I shouldn't have had my dinner at Equinox? ' All the 'what ifs' and 'I shouldn't have' would come haunting you. Its 'buyer's remorse' or 'cognitive dissonance' in action. The American Marketing Association explains these meaning as "The insecurity that a buyer feels about the appropriateness of the purchase decision after the decision has been made."

Often, debts build up and the struggle to pay it off seems so tiring. Interest owed, principal sum snowballs and you know you are bound for a rough journey ahead. I am sure many of you out there have experienced such turbulent times before. For those who have crawled out of it, am sure you learnt from your mistake and swear never to do it again and for those who are still struggling, hang in there, your crucifying time will be over soon.

Its always important to believe what we already know,Cash is King and Credit was never in the dictionary of the Royal family.

Importance of Family ...

What's a better way to celebrate Jun Sheng's birthday? I couldn't really think of any other place to go that suits him thus I thought let's bring the family together for a meal at Vila'ge at Heeren.

The meal was average but what really made me happy was the togetherness in the family. Cohesion. We shared our food, took care of each other and made sure everyone had enough food in their stomaches to last till dinner time.

I am a person who really enjoys family outings and get-togethers. Being quiet at times, I hardly talk with family but I enjoy their company. Just seated there with every member of the family on the same table brings me warmth. Can't really describe the feeling but its just sweet.

I treasure family ties really much although at times it seems like I do not generate those vibes for others to feel how much they mean to me. Seriously, everyone in the photo means a lot to me. That also includes a "new member" to the family, Patty.She helps grandma with every little thing and still puts on a radiant smile despite the loads of cleaning whenever we mess up Godpa's house.

I hope in my next photo with family, I could have a photo with me in it and together with everyone in the family - Dad, Mum, two brothers, Godpa, Godma, two Grandmas, Sandy, Beatrice, Jacob Shek and Lisa Shek. This photo will then consists of a true family that is close to my heart.

Family ties are important and I urge everyone to treasure the family around them.If you feel shy to express your feelings for them, I guess blogging like what I am doing tells them all.

To my family, just want to say, I treasure everyone of you and love you all lots ....

Face masks ...

Was walking along Orchard Road when I saw someone in a face mask. Found it a little interesting to know that such habits are still practiced after post-SARS days.Not that I found it funny but I was just wondering the reason behind the mask.

Two possibilities to why this lady was wearing a mask.

1) She was sick and did not want to spread the germs.
2) She was afraid she will be contaminated with other bacteria or virus.

I would have to say this lady was civic minded. She cared for the people around her and would not allow others to catch the bug she already had.

Would you and I do the same when we fall sick? I doubt it. I had fallen sick quite a number of times this year. Knowing me, my immunity level is rather low and can catch viruses easily. Even though I were to be given medical leave to rest at home, I sometimes go back to the office to work. WITHOUT a mask, and what happens later? Fellow colleagues atart sneezing and catching the flu bug too.

Perhaps, I will have to learn from the lady I saw at Orchard Road, to put on a mask and not be afraid of the curious eyes staring at me. Its not wrong isn't it to have a mask placed over my mouth to protect myself and the people around me from the bugs.

Let us not forget the horrendous experienced we had when the killer SARS threatened our lives and our economy.Let us start behaving like civic minded Singaporeans, caring as much for the community as possible but bear in mind that should you walk into a bank, a masked face might put you behind bars.

Advertising flyers ...

Opening mail boxes can be a real chore especially when one finds lots of advertisements stashed in the already small mail box. Look, I am talking about mail boxes that receive snail mails and not those that you have on your computer screen with different folders of 'inbox' , 'outbox' with lots of unlimited space.

Can you imagine how many advertisements we come across daily? I have been trying to find out from the internet the actual figure but can't seem to find the answer. My guess is that of about 40 - 50 advertisements daily. These advertisements can be in the form of flyers, billboards, placards, radio jingles, sponsors etc.

Back to the advertising flyers I received in my mail box. I realised it can be frustrating having to throw these slips of papers, some have the size as small as a business card and some as big as an A4 sized paper. Can you imagine the number of trees cut down due to these circulation of endless advertising? Its simply outrageous.

How often do we keep these flyers that we find in mailboxes? Are they even useful at all? With the internet age, all we need to do is make a few clicks on the mouse and there, you'll find what you need on Google, Yahoo or any other search engines you may be using. So why the need for paper flyers distribution?

I just find it a hassle when my hands are already filled with so many bills and government notices yet I still have to sort the mails out and throw the flyers away. Maybe we should just each have an individual 'junk' box like those that we have in our virtual world by courtesy of Microsoft Outlook. We can perhaps label this new box 'Spam' box.

Close your eyes and think. See yourself walk towards the mailbox. Two of them in front of you. To the left, normal mailbox that stores your bills and government notices and to the right, 'Spam' mail where all advertisements are placed. You decide not to look into the 'Spam' box but only that of your normal mailbox. You press a button on the 'Spam' mailbox and whatever is in the box will just flush itself into a recyling bin. No hassle, no need to filter unwanted junk mail.

If someone could really invent some sort of mailbox like what you have just imagined, we save paper and can also send out a message advertisers to think of better ways of advertising than to place flyers into mailboxes. This will also save the cleaners in our neighbour extra job of picking littered advertising flyers often found on the floors near our mailboxes.

She looked .. and I smiled ...

Seated in a wheelchair, dressed in pink and green, she was unable to move around.She could only watch the people around her, helping themselves to the buffet spread and chatting away.

She sat quietly, waiting for someone to feed her. She looked at me with curious eyes but her thoughts could be that of another world and not about me.

This girl I saw was seated with a family of six, which includes a very energetic grandmother who often helped the girl with her food. At such a young age, life depends on the wheel chair she sits on thus compromising mobility. She will not be able to experience life like any other child playing in the gardens of laughter nor will she be able to even do the simplest things like feeding herself.

I would assume that she's only ten years of age and suffering from a motor neuron disease or maybe some thing similar. Thinking how her life would be many years later brought tears to my eyes, its painful thinking how her parents' would have felt after learning from the doctor that she will not have the slightest chance of walking again.

Like many stories, a girl like her would always dream of being able to dance and walk normally. Just the mere thought of being able to put on and use a pair of ballet shoes would bring a smile to her face, something so simple yet it is going to be an almost impossible challenge for her to perform a simple dance.

We often take mobility for granted, complaining on how far the bus stop is and how hot it is to walk under the sun. We have been given healthy limbs to perform daily tasks but how often do we disregard the fact that these limbs are indeed important and that we should be thankful for being healthy and mobile. Seated from her wheel chair, she envies our mobility - a simple thing that our Maker gave us that was not given to her. Therefore, whenever I need to walk that extra distance, I would think of this girl and be satisfied that I was given the ability to at least walk that extra mile required and not grumble about the chore of walking.

Singapore tatoo

Its cool to have our National Flag imprinted on our arms. The other symbol of a droplet is that of our drinking water - Newater.

It surely was hard to get the tatoos removed. I had to scrub and scratch them out which hurts. The same feeling you'll get should you want to remove your Singaporean roots. Its going to be difficult to get out off and never easy to get rid of that Singapore living in you. So let's all grow old together with Singapore and keep the flag flying high in our hearts. Once again, let us wish Singapore Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Singapore ...!

The Nation turns 42. Remarkable history and achievements made by a small, tiny country that is not even visible on the world map. Great work Singaporeans ..!

Our forefathers have slogged and struggled to build up this nation, making it one of the busiest ports in the world, having one of the world's best passenger carriers, the best transport system, the best infrastructure system and most importantly, a stable and reliable government.

Don't get me wrong for being pro-government or using blogs as a platform to change the mindsets of others about our government and its policies. Am not. Really am not.

I just want to tell readers on this blog that it is rather comfortable living in Singapore. We have almost everything under the sun (beaches), under the sea (Underwater World) and under the ground (Citylink Mall and our MRT). Aren't these things that make us feel proud being Singaporean?

I had a friend from India who asked me, " Is it easy living in Singapore?"

My answer was, " If living in Singapore wasn't, try living in Malaysia, you'll tell the difference almost immediately."

Don't get me wrong again, am not anti-Malaysia. I love that place. It has great food, nice people, boosting tourism and loads of pirated DVDs which Singaporeans often salivate when they get to the malls just across the border to buy their favourite movies.

My point is simple. Why do we Singaporeans often grumble about how bad our lives are and how we pay hefty taxes from GST ( Goods Service Tax ) to ERP (Electronic Road Pricing System ). Don't we even sit back and think how we are actually enjoying the peace, the stability and the many things around us that we always forget and take for granted?

We Singaporeans share one destiny,one life. Should the country ever collapse, who suffers? You and I. We can choose to run and flee or we can choose to stay and rebuild the nation. We survived numerous crisis - crashing economy, SARS and the numerous threats of terrorism. As Singaporeans, no matter where you run to or how you want to escape, our blood is still red, the very same color on our flag that signifies universal brother and equality.

Let us put away all our differences and come together as one nation, hand in hand, heart to heart, all for one purpose - to mark the 42nd birthday of Singapore. May we respect and honour those who have helped built our nation to what it is today with song and dance and lots of fireworks at the Marina Bay tonight. Happy Birthday Singapore and may all the wishes of fellow Singaporeans come true today, tomorrow and forever ...!

Falling ill....

Sandy's fallen ill with influenza. She feels a little feverish but with no clear indication of slightly higher temperature on the thermometer that was placed under her tongue. Weird.

Come to think of it, do we really have full control of our body system and reign over our antibodies commanding them how to fight intruding viruses or germs? For those of you who have played the PC game Command & Conquer, you will definitely react if an enemy is attacking from the left, front or back and you will defend your base by sending your troops to shield of the opponent's infiltrating army .

Give it a thought, can we do all these since we claim that the body is ours? Can we send the correct amount of anitbodies to ward off whatever bacteria is damaging our system? Likely not I suppose, only to a minimum extent of having to take a course of medication.

We have totally no control of what's going on in the system. We can never stop a corn from growing between the toes, a black hair from turning grey, a pimple from popping up or a tumour from forming in the brains. There is no control of any sort,perhaps only God can explain ...

Spit Splat ...

For the saliva ejectors - STOP SPITTING !

Do you ever think these group of people would easily give up spitting? I doubt so. I think its a mindset these group of people have. They believe that they own the roads and streets of Singapore.

What really upsets me most are students donning school uniforms contributing to saliva patches splatted on floors of our supposedly clean and green city. Why the uncouth and uncivilized action ? Is there really something wrong with our education system or the way these students are brought up at home? I thought there was a subject called Moral Studies. Are the schools no longer teaching them? If only the law allows them to be sent to a whipping ground in Changi.

What can we say when we see the older generation do the same?Years of experience with their tongues, they swiftly pack a ball of saliva in their mouths and shoot it off, straight and accurate onto the newly laid ceramics of a new hawker centre that was officially opened by some State Minister on the very same day. I wish I could just walk up to him and slap him with a S$1000 fine. Can't they just place their unwanted saliva into a piece of tissue paper and throw it into the bin. Well, who knows, they might be thinking that when liquid touches the ground, it evaporates after time but should they use a piece of tissue to collect their saliva, they will do the same and leave the tissue thrown on the floor.Both ways will be just as bad thus why not just save the trees from being cut down and just conveniently spit on the floor. Funny thought isn't it? Maybe not.

The substance called water ...

Water is the essence of life. Without water, life ends. Whether man, animal or plants, water is essential. Water is the simplest substance that keeps mankind alive.

Water has many uses. Washing, cooking, generate electricity etc.

After having a basketball game this afternoon, I realised my hands were dirty and being me, I always needed to be clean - especially the hands.

I decided to take a bottle of mineral water to clean my hands, to rid off the dirt that had clearly blackened my palms and fingers. As I turned to uncap the bottle, a picture flashed in my mind. I saw photos of children in poverty - hungry and thirsty but had no food and water to fulfil their needs.

I felt ashamed of myself for wanting to use a bottle of mineral water to cleanse my hands when the thoughts of children around the world have hardly anything to drink, let alone clean their bodies with the substance called water.

Living in Singapore, we never had any shortage of water at least for peers of my generation. What was water rationing? I never experienced it.Singaporeans living under the great care of our government only know the fact that Singapore is self-sufficient after the success of Newater - water that went through reclamation process using multiple barriers of Reverse Osmosis, a widely recognised and reliable technology used extensively in Space missions.

Despite the fact that we are self-sufficient, this does not mean that we should take water for granted. We should learn to cherish it and not waste it. Therefore the next time you decide to wash your hands with mineral water, better think twice like I did. Save water.

Finally we exercise but ....

A lazy Sunday turned up to be an afternoon of exercise for Sandy and I, all thanks to a call from a buddy - Lance.

Lance was always complaining that he played basketball alone and had no other company for his favourite sport. Good timing indeed. We surely needed the exercise.

Lance and I are in a little unhealthy shape with what doctors call a higher than normal count of 'bad cholestrol' aka low density lipoprotein ( LDL ).LDL is an accomplice which sabotages the arteries by forming plagues thus increasing the risk of a heart attack or stroke.

An hour and the half of placing a ball through a ring, Sandy and Lance's wife, Monica decided to stop. Great workout indeed. I was perspiring from the top of my head wetting my shirt and even my boxers. Satisfied. So what's went on after this?

Sandy suggested Hokkien Mee, an unhealthy local dish fried with prawns and squid. Surely not recommended by doctors for people with high LDL.We went ahead anyway. A whopping S$20 Hokkien Mee, S$5 Carrot Cake and another S$5 Oyster omelette. How sinful. Was all the workout even enough to rid of the amount of calories we were about to absorb into our body system? The answer is surely NO. Hokkien Mee, rich with prawns and cuttlefish could easily sum up to 350-400 mg of cholestrol, not forgetting we are entitled only to below 300 mg per day. My, dinner was surely sinful.

Will stick to tuna salad or chicken breast sandwich next time.

Dinosaur let loose in Singapore ..

While waiting at a traffic light along Katong, a scene from Jurassic Park appeared. I found it really familiar, an Alxasaurus appeared in front of me, about 30 metres away, nibbling on hard concrete.

Of course this isn't real but something struck my mind when I saw this construction machine working on breaking down the old house. Was this invention inspired by Dinosaurs? A vision like this must have appeared in the inventor's mind before it could come up with a machine that has such strong capabilities - breaking houses down. Interesting thought isn't it?

'New Car Smell'

How many of us here hate the scent in a brand new car? Not me for sure but I know someone who does. Now,just imagine you are seated in a new sedan that you just purchased. Take a deep breath and smell .... Was it awful?

I read a report on CNN about how some environmental group claimed that the smell was toxic and it was phthalates that contributed to the 'new car smell'. Phthalates through inhalation and contact with dust could cause birth defects, liver toxicity and premature births as tested on laboratory animals.

Therefore the next time you enjoy that breather in your new car, think twice before you take that deep breath. You could be safer driving with your windows down and your seat belts buckled.

By the way, I have not revealed who hates this 'new car smell'. You want to make a guess? Well, its Mr Shek.

Save the Earth but leave the A/C alone ...

It has been quite a while since I made efforts to save planet Earth - guess its time now.

After a birthday party this evening, I returned home only to see pieces of paper stuck on walls - all of which are reminders to switch off all electrical appliances and lights before I sink into dreamland.

Sandy's father is quite a planet loving chap who believes in recycling and being environmental friendly. Look at it this way, its also a cost cutting measure especially when the stock market's indices went diving southwards.

Don't get me wrong - I am still allowed to have my air-conditioner (A/C) on as I can only fall asleep with the air-conditioner switched on to a temperature of 18 degrees celcius. Like vegetables and meat in the refrigerator, I too need to be cooled to stay fresh.

I guess with the amount of electricity we use in households nowadays are really crazy. Almost everything in the house needs to be powered. Internet requires electricity especially when technology has advanced to going wireless, charging of mobile phones and MP3 players etc.

Can you imagine what happens when all our resources of energy disappear from Earth? Yes, that thought is really scary. We can only depend on sources of light from the sun and candles. We will go straight back to the Stone Age days, just like the cartoon characters in Hanna-Barberra's Flintstones.

Perhaps not. NASA or some other space agencies must have worked something out. Drawing energy from other planets in the solar system. Who knows, the next source of energy might come from some meteor shower or magical stones found on the moon. Let's be hopeful.

Nevertheless, I guess we should stick to saving planet Earth and switching off all energy consuming appliances before we go to bed, afterall we won't be needing them when we sleep - of course with exception to the air-conditioner.

Test from bed

Morning Singapore. As I pen these words from bed, I wonder how its going to look online. Am excited to mobile blog.

As this is a test, let's see what I 've got.

She is ....

Situated in the corner of the room with her back facing me
Her eyes often glances through the stacks of resume

A Human Resources career she has always been in
To tackle the shortage of staff the company needs filling

Jovial as she always is
Feminine and graceful she always sits

A name homonymous to songs of praise during winter
She is always found choking in times of laughter


Written for a friend , Carol

I have a dream ....

Of life I sit and think
Thoughts and emotions often sink

Harmonic rhythm the heart will bring
Melodious music it often sings

Musician I thought I once will be
These dreams I have has shattered so it seems

Phantom of the Opera ...

Fabulously written a string of words
This popular musical is often heard

A classic musical written of romance love
Christine often sang to her turtledove

Lyrics they may sound
Pain and hatred it compounds

Singing away into the music of the night
The phantom's voice sets the stage alight

Greed and fury...

Greed often lies deep within ourselves. Greed expressed as 'An excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs or deserves, especially with respect to material wealth.'

Many of us come in contact with greed. Be it in terms of monetary value, assets and sometimes even love. We tend to want nothing less but everything more. We were always told, the more the merrier.

Can you remember when was the last time you ordered too much food for the dining table? Could just be yesterday. Living in economically healthy Singapore, we always have a tendency to eat more than we should, order dishes more than we can finish. Is it a habit that we have that's hard to break or is it all out of greed?